Glimpses of My Soul
by kias2015
Summary: My attempt to make Hao-sama appear lucid, especially when he goes on a killing frenzy.


**Author's Note: **Take note of the time phrases. e.g. [- At present.] 

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**Glimpses of My Soul . . . **

_[Our conscious mind is but the tip of an ice berg.]_

_[- Sigmund Freud]_

_*** A Glimpse - The Misery of Defeat ***_

**- At present:**

Asakura Hao lies lifelessly on the ground after being defeated by his other half.

**_Misery._**

_I lost, again.   
_

_I hate myself._

_My dreams are all gone now._

_I want to die._

_Die._

_I want to die._

_  
So, die. _

_I want to die._

_Nothing's here to keep you from dying._

_I *do* want to die._

_But . . . _

_Why won't myself let me? _

**_Defeat._**

* * *

_**** A Glimpse - ****The Magnificence of Death ****_

**- Centuries ago:**

He lies lifelessly on the ground after being defeated by his whole clan.

**_Magnificence._**

_I lost._

_But my dreams, my hopes, I still have them._

_I won't give up._

"Hao! You are a disgrace to our clan! For this, we shall banish you to an eternity of damnation!"

"Do whatever you please with me. But mark my words. I shall come back to fulfill my dream. It is my destiny."

"Die, you crazy fool! Go to hell!"

_Most people fear death but, I don't._

_It is because, I will never die._

_At least, not in its supposed essence. _

_For as long as I have the will to live, _

_I shall never perish._

**_Death._**

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

**_*** A Glimpse - _**_**The Onslaught of Revenge** *******_

**- Several years ago:**

Asakura Hao stands on the blood soaked ground as he watches the entirety of a village getting burned into mere ashes.

Hao holds unto the hands of a frightened small child and smiles. He keeps on saying,

"Everything will be alright, Opacho. I'm here."

**_Onslaught._**

"Please, young sir! I beg of you! Have mercy on my children! Please spare them! They're innocent! Please sir, have mercy!!!" 

_Just because they're children doesn't mean they're innocent._

_All humans are conceived with sin._

_  
No human can be found innocent._

"May your soul rest in peace. Spirit of Fire!"

The Spirit of Fire smolders the mother until the very last strip of flesh in her has been turned into a crisp.

Shrieks of pain are heard from the mother, and from everybody else,

in the midst of the powerful shaman's infuriating laughter.

And the children are left to witness this gruesome massacre with their own tainted eyes.

_Humans are nothing but culpable nuisances._

_  
All of you deserve to burn in hell,_

_  
The hell that all of you had put this disgraceful world into._

**_Revenge._**

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_****** A Glimpse - The Emergence of One's Desire ******_

**- Centuries ago:**

Asakura Hao stands on the blood soaked ground as he watches the entirety of a village burning his mother into mere ashes.

His mother is serenely smiling at him as if saying,

"Everything will be alright, Hao. I'm here."

_**Emergence**_**.**

"You, itako, have summoned the bad spirits into this world! You are to blame for all of the catastrophes that have befallen us!" 

"Atone for your misdemeanor!"

"Burn this evil creature down!" 

"Burn her, burn her!!!"

The villagers smolder his mother until the very last strip of flesh in her has been turned into a crisp.

Shrieks of pain are heard from the woman as she is being burned alive, 

in the midst of the villagers' infuriating laughter.

And the boy is left to witness this gruesome massacre with his own tainted eyes.

His mother . . . 

The only family he knew . . . 

Is now dead. 

And the villagers have all cowardly fled.

The boy looks at the burnt corpse in front of him. He walks closer. He kneels and then clings his hands unto one of hers.

"Mother . . . I'm scared. Please don't leave me alone. Please. I need you."

A man walks closer to him.

He tugs on the arms of the small child and forces him to stand up.

"I'm sorry, son. Had I only known that this would happen, I, I wouldn't have ever left you alone."

Some moments of silence pass.

"Sigh. Hao, please don't cry anymore. Nothing will happen if you cry. Besides, I'm here already. Father's here."

The silence remains.

The child heaves his hand out of his father's.

"Now, son. Please stop being such a brat. Your mother is gone now. And we can't do anything about that anymore."

The young Hao looks at his father grimly.

"My mother's gone, *now*! She's gone because you chose to do nothing about it! She's dead because of you! You killed her!"

_I hate you._

_You always do nothing._

_You always leave us._

_You never loved us. _

_So, I want you to die._

_I've had enough with you humans._

_You humans are all the same._

_You should all just die._

_You pests._

"I am not your son! I hate you! I want you to die! I'll kill you!"

"What did you say to me!? How dare you talk to your father that way!?"

_I'm sorry for breaking my promise, mother._

"Spirit of Fire!"

A man endlessly shrieks as he is being burned alive,

in the midst of the small child's menacing laughter.

_** Desire**_**.**

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**__********* A Glimpse **- The Rebirth of Dreams *****

**- Centuries ago:**

"Mother, what are dreams?"

"Dreams are your hopes in life, son."

"Hmm?"

"Those are . . . The things that you want to happen in your life, like the things that you wish for to happen on your birthdays."

"Oh! So, those are dreams! Heheh! . . . What are your dreams, mother?"

"My, my! Why so many questions for today, Hao-chan?"

"Heheh. Ka-chan loves Hao-chan, right? So, please tell me, mother. What are your dreams?"

"Hahah, right, ka-chan loves Hao-chan. Well, I guess, I would want to see the beauty of nature to be in its highest peak again . . . I want to live in a world wherein everyone is united with nature. And . . . I want to see that, together with you, and your fa--- . . . Sigh. Hao-chan, that's enough questions for tonight, okay?"

"Aww. But mother . . ."

"Go to sleep, Hao-chan."

"Alright, mother."

"I love you . . . Sweet dreams."

Darkness resides. 

**- At present:**

Asakura Hao lies lifelessly on the ground after being defeated by his other half.

But then.

His fists clench.

His eyes suddenly open.

**_Rebirth._**

**- A few minutes ago.**

Hao clearly sees the face of his mother smiling warmly at him in his mind.

_I won't die yet. _

_Not until I have made this a perfect world for you. _

_Mother, _

_Wait for me. _

_I shall soon bring you home._

**_My Dream . . . _**

**Owari.**

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_- Much of our behavior stems from unconscious processes; _

_- Significant experiences during one's childhood greatly influence one's personality._

**[Therefore, Hao-sama was not born evil, you Hao haters! ; p]**

And that, my friend!

Is the definition of Psychoanalytic Psychology according to Mr. Freud. Well, at least, my professor said it was . . .

* Smirks *

Btw . . . I deleted some details here to make the fic more believable.

So! Yeah. Please review/flame/whatever. Thanks.


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